But we ESPECIALLY do it when the going gets tough. Don't get me wrong, we do this all the time in grief. You're imaging that everything would just be better if they were still here. But that doesn't change that it can also bring up tough, bittersweet feelings.Ĩ. It is actually something that most people find helpful and comforting. We find strength in things they taught us. We imagine what they would have said or done. In times of pain, stress, crisis, and indecision, we often think of and want to be close to the person who died. We actually really want and miss them in bad times. Research has shown that we don’t just want and miss our loved ones during the good times. It might just feel a little annoying that it took something like this for them to empathize with you.ħ. It isn’t that you don’t empathize with your friends. With that, your anxiety might be spiking.Īre these things your friends haven't historically been sympathetic about? Hopefully, this isn't coming up for you, but we have heard loud and clear that it is coming up for some people. If this is your situation, you’re likely feeling even more acutely aware of their absence than ever. It could have been the person who made you feel safe. Perhaps who checked in on you to make sure you were okay. Maybe it is the person who handled practicalities and logistics. You might be grieving a person who took care of you. Aspects of your grief that you were managing before the stress or crisis suddenly seem seven times as tricky to manage.Ģ. Things you could have managed before your loss feel insurmountable now. When a crisis hits and you are already depleted, all of a sudden everything becomes more challenging. Grief can take everything you have, especially in the earliest days. So, above all else, let’s start with the one thing we can assure you: if your grief feels worse right now, you are not alone! There are a lot of reasons it is totally normal that a crisis can make grief feel worse.ġ. The list of reasons is long and the list of accompanying questions is even longer. ![]() Over the last couple of weeks, we have been flooded with emails, comments, and DMs from people sharing that in this current crisis their grief feels worse.
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